More Excerpts From My Diary

       At the office, I do not believe I am getting the respect I deserve. So yesterday, I came in early, and shouted to everyone present- "What do I have to do to impress you people, to get a little acceptance around here- suck my own dick? Lick my own testicles?" When no one reacted, I decided that's exactly what I should do. So I lied down, brought my legs forward, placed my knees up against my temples, and began oral manipulations. Still it seemed no one was impressed. I screamed, "Wow these balls sure taste like balls," but they continued to pay me no mind. Now, I think I'll have to try a different approach on Monday morning.
       I have developed a new and exciting fetish. I call this fetish, 'Large black man- tackle me on the backside with your genitals exposed while I am naked, and then insert those genitals into my rectum.' And I don't know if any one else knows about this- and I'm unsure if it only works with large black men. But I have got to find a way to make people understand how wonderful this experience is!
       Last night I asked my baby, "How come the sex is always so much better after you've cum?" And she just looked at me angrily. What is up with that?
       So I always knew that the Durex Brand Tropical Condom was going to be, 'luscious,' due to the warning on the outer packaging. And, that it would protect me from lesions. But what I did not expect to happen, when I finally purchased the item and tried one on, was that I instantly broke into some sort of samba dance, or a merengue. Or perhaps one might consider my movements to be the tango- I do not know. But these condoms surely do mentally take you to the tropics, so I'd have to suggest them to everyone. Dick Or No.
       What? He was sexually assaulted? On video? (I hate hearing only part of people's conversations.)
       I have gay friends. I have so many gay friends, it's very difficult for me to give you an exact number. But yes- if I could come up with it, that number would truly be quite high. And, I used to live in an apartment with a homosexual, five, maybe six years ago. And every night, I would have anal intercourse with this homosexual gentleman I roomed with. But being gay, without a doubt, is an absolute abomination. And it is not me who says this- it's God. And I hope my old roommate understands this- and I hope, and I pray that one day he finds a way to get right with God.